Friday, June 15, 2012

Divorce: Maturity and Forgiveness Is the Key

"If I speak - just the way I write, my voice registers high and cracks on the question mark, like a form of death... "

Divorce is termination. It's the termination of the family as a unit. Sad... it's very unfortunate. It loses one to oblivion.

One wonders... is marriage disposable? Is it fragile, frugal, and low maintenance?

Do we marry just out of curiosity? Why we start feeding the vengeful, angry, violent wolf in our heart leaving the compassionate, moral, decent one hungry?!

Emotions, maturity, compromise, and forgiveness - all words have lost their power. We submit ourselves to this quiet stillness of night and embrace the deep recluse called divorce. What pain!

It's a sad reflection on part of country like India, traditionally which, had witnessed one of the lowest divorce rates in the world. But, time has changed.

The D-tag does not qualify one as a social misfit or the one with something wrong. On the contrary the popularity of websites that are meant to comfort troubled souls, reflect, how more and more urbanites are opting for divorce in India.

Studies support, that about nine times more divorce cases had been filed in the past decade. Experts think that the rising trend is reflective of India's changing socio-economic conditions where more exposure through television, social networking sites, and vast knowledge pool that is accessible on internet and the global business scenario has influenced them to adopt lifestyle liberation.

Newer values are emerging, where the notion of sanctity associated with marriage seems to lose gradually.

Even courts too have dropped the traditional view of marriages being sacred, granting divorce where reconciliation seemed remote...
Major reasons for divorce

We find, as against sixteen in the Western nations, India generally accepts five main reasons as sufficient grounds for divorce.These are:

1. The financial independence of women: This leads to refusal to submission to their husbands' more traditional views of marriage.

2. Adultery: Disruption of cohabitation, or absence of just or reasonable cause and their combination.

3. Physical, mental abuse or the neglect.

4. Physical inability of the couple to consummate - including the refusal by one spouse to do so

5. Mental and physical illness and/or sexually transmitted diseases.

Effect in every reason is nothing but - the dreaded - divorce. And, the end is the wretched man-less woman or vice-versa. Both options are equally devastating.

Arundhati Roy speaks about protagonist Ammus' quick divorce reflecting the social and cultural stigma of divorce in India through her book, "The God of Small Things."

Big cities, small towns - it's the same story. And, it repeats...
More and more couples are coming out of their cocoons to escape the pains of a discordant family. The courts flood with squabbling couples. Crime against women cells & matrimonial courts are created.

Psychologists' view point:

Psychologists attribute it to the nuclear family structure, modern lifestyle and professional tensions that play behind this phenomenal increase.

What we take on this thought? Will the second marriage bring relief?

This issue needs no debate, considering the mammoth number of registrations at the matrimonial sites. The choice is individual and the option lays with both genders alike.

Research reports continue to get published, and we are convinced that though divorce rates have gone up still the institution of marriage is revered and this hard hitting mental trauma called divorce is still frowned up.

Here, a faint streak of sun shines.



This article is brought to you by PERSONALS.

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