Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Preserve Your Marriage: Unfaithfulness Shouldn't Result to Divorce

There are many things that can break up a marriage; however unfaithfulness is arguably the biggest cause. Extramarital affairs go against everything that marriage stands for. When two individuals come together in marriage, they actually become one and they are supposed to spend the rest of their lives together. So when that bond is broken it becomes very difficult to overcome the feelings of despair that results.

Infidelity in marriage is not only about one partner starting a physical relationship with someone outside of the union. There is also an emotional dimension to it, when any of the marriage partners starts to share his or her life with an individual outside the union.

This phenomenon referred to as emotional infidelity, has become a big threat to the marriage bond in the previous few decades. There are several reasons for this but the main reason is the workplace which is becoming more and more mixed.

Apart from that, people now have more crafty ways to communicate with one another. It is now a lot easier for people to connect with each other via new technologies like texting, instant messaging and electronic mail. Even though these things do not cause emotional infidelity, they are a contributory factor.

Also, it has become very easy for marriage partners to be physically unfaithful to each other. These days married couples do not spend as much time together as they used to in the past. Many spend most of their time at the work place, which provides them with a very helpful justification once they decide to cheat on their partners. What you should realize is that you can choose to be faithful or unfaithful to your spouse.

However you need to keep in mind that these things are not reasons, they are only excuses and opportunities. Excuses will never solve the problems in any marriage. However one is not saying that unfaithfulness in marriage cannot be overcome. There is no doubt that unfaithfulness is a big challenge, but it is one that can be surmounted.

To deal with the problem, you need to first determine what has gone wrong with your union. Something must have caused your partner to be unfaithful to you. There is a crack in the relationship you have with your partner and it has to be mended so as to overcome the infidelity.

Your spouse has not been faithful to you, but there is no need to blame him or her. You should also not blame yourself, but you have to get past that, because the emotional healing you and your partner needs will only be delayed if you keep pointing accusing fingers.

After determining what made your partner to be unfaithful to you, the next thing you have to do is rebuild trust. Unfaithfulness destroys trust and it will probably take several months if not years to rebuild that trust. The two of you have to work hard to mend what has been shattered.

You can however preserve your marriage, if you follow the steps presented in this article. Infidelity is a very bad thing, but there is no relationship that cannot be mended. All that is required is willingness to find the needed counsel and assistance to mend your relationship.



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